I think I'm aging..

I was in the lift going up the food court in my office building just now and it was sardine-packed. A guy behind me tried to get the lady in front of me to press button to the 20th floor and guess what he said. "Aunty!! Aunty!! Tolong tekan tingkat 20!!" Darn. I think that poor lady is just in her early 30s and that 'young man' is probably in mid 20s.

As I was queuing for my food, a slightly overweight and not-so-young lady jumped and hopped and runned as cutely as she thought she was to her friend who was queuing behind me. Imagine that kinda cute jumping a 4-year old kid would do when her daddy buy her an ice-cream. Gosh! And worse is that she's in office attire and looked so professional.

Many times I looked back and remembered how anxious I used to be waiting for my 21st birthday so that I can be categorized as an 'adult'. I always wanted to be a grown-up. I wanted to wear makeup everyday. I wanted to be in heels. I wanted dress professionally to the office and getting everyone to greet me and serve me.

I remembered few years back when I first came to KL, I went into a condom shop with my ex-roomie. Feeling so so so excited and wanted to explore new things, a salesgirl stopped me to check on my IC. I wasn't allowed in, as there're still a few more months before my 18th birthday. I felt so insulted. I wanted to be a grown-up.

Once I went to Genting with my family, I borrowed my sister's IC and walked into the casino confidently (with my parents). I was 19 if I'm not mistaken. The security gurad stopped me and demanded for my IC and I confidently took out my sis's IC and starred at him with that kinda irritated look. He let me in. Thank goodness, me and my sister looked alike. That time I felt so adult. I wanted to grow up fast.

As soon as I turned 21st, I would go to my yet-to-turn-21st friends and said to them "Kuci...kuci...ang gu gu...." Alas, I'm a grown up and I got my 'key'!!

Years passed.

I realized sometimes I'm just a lil' overaged to dress cute or act cute. I felt the aging in me especially when I looked at those beauty pageants who're all about 18-20. I felt the aging in me when I am overaged to apply for air-stewardess. I felt the aging in me when I looked at those college students who're still deciding for their future. Cos I knew, I'm too old to turn back time and re-plan my future again.

I envy teenagers nowadays who blog and see the world and knew so many things. I envy the life they're leading, partying till the sun rises the next morning and having a big bunch of mates. Coz what I need now is to have a good rest after work everyday.

Often there're young mums carrying their kids and when I smiled to their kids, the mummy would ask their kids to call me "aunty" instead of "che che". I'm not that old, right?

When I started to receive letters and promotions from banks, I knew I've grown up. Tonnes of bills to be settled; phone bill, credit card bill... I'm an adult with responsibilities. Wrinkles and dark spots, I really do feel old.

Holy shit. I'm 23 this year and I feel so old.